ghost of marcus's past.

its going to be a long boring post.

been doing a little trips to the past. well, atleast thats wat i call it...

following a series of constant insomnia, my mind begin to wonder all night long. suddenly thinking a lot about my past.
about who am I and what i did.

something like the ghost of Christmas past paying me a visit. juz that he reminds me about a lot more things than juz past Christmases.

i begin to look back to all those stupid little things that i did.

some good some bad. and the bad habit of all these ghost of the past. they tend to remind u more of the bad one. the reali reali reali embarrassing ones. hahaha. things i wish i could juz Ctrl + Z. hahaha... but i feel that all these things happened for a reason and i believe its for the greater good. like how some would say, "Good or Bad, its hard to say!"


well, there are things that i can actually make me smile like some nut-case in the middle of the night. juz laughing silently to myself. the joy u actually receive by simply helping others. the smile u get from them after u do something for them. haha. sometimes, a simple "thank you" followed with a sincere smile makes everything that is sacrificed worth while. i start recalling a few.

n yea, been watching quite alot of tv recently too. the internet in my area has fallen to the level beyond help and i cant think of anything to do online anymore. so, in replacement of Internet, i put in some TV. been watching few weird moives here and there recently too...

movies like The Pursuit of Happyness, a movie i would recommend to all.. a reali good movie. its been so long since i watch a movie that could actually make my eyes water. 2 thumbs up for me. i juz dont like will smith with that funny Afro hair and mustache. other than that, an absolutely awesome movie. inspiring too. its good movies like these that feeds energy to my marcuslim short term unlimited energy semangat bar. i have been misusing it too often.energy bar at critical stage. in deep need of inspiration and motivation.

Star World is now like one of my favourite channels... i kinda like the series that they put in. watched a few episodes of FRIENDS, Simpsons and Royal Pains. and i somehow like they guy from royal pains. he just wants to go out there to help ppl. i wanna be something like that when i grow up. i may not have superb medical knowledge but i do have my basic 1st aid skills. does that count?

after watching all these, i remember the joy of TV which i had long-forgotten. been quite long since i got this good feeling after watching TV. now there is more balance in the things i like doing and things i dont like doing.



aha. went to maintain wif my 2 old buddies recently. went up BJ hill with chiao and easaw. chiao went up ahead of us before we even reach the foot of the hill. anyway, we met up there and exchanged stories. Easaw on the other hand, we had like 30 mins to catch up on things that happened in 2 years. hahaha. told him a lot of nonsense. and he's considered good d k. able to hike up well. we shall go again this week. after that had a call from "jun guan" and "joel lim" for movie. ran down and flew to queensbay.


watched G-force. okay la the movie. i feel darwyn is a very nice Guinea pig. a "man" that leaves no rodent behind. no matter wat. i respect that attitude. i could learn a thing or 2 from him. to be more reliable. to be able to say, "okay, dun worry, juz leave it to me" confidently and have at the same time gets the confidence of everyone else. i want to have that confidence.



all in all, in my soul searching. i came to afew goals in mind.

balance Entertainment and Study, more of both
More mountains
More TV
More risks
More confidence
less complains
less emo.(i'm a VERY emo person, i read thru the things i said in the skbg forums and i even feel sad for myself. that's bad. no more of that. its a happy life from now on.)
more breakfasts
less branch-es
more sleep during night n less during day
more stern
less crazy and childish acts
.
.
.
in other words to be a better person. see me again in a month and see if there's a notable difference.hehe.


that'll be all. its late and i have test tmr. and i cant believe i'm typing this. nvm. come.. i will take on the challenge! bring it! no pain no gain.